Rewatched Dexter and just started rewatching Gossip Girl and that guy Dan’s father (GG) plays one of the creeps working with the Koshka brotherhood in Dexter season 7. Russian/ukrainian accent and all.
It’s been long since I talked to anybody about anything.
It’s weird. To this day I’ve never had less support than I have now. There was always a shoulder to lean on, or someone who listened. If I typed some rant on the internet; even then someone would’ve listened, in a different way.
It’s weird how everything is happening at once. How there are a couple people before, and suddenly there are none. How you can just feel secure, and the next moment you’re by yourself.
It makes me realize how wrong I was for believing I ever maintained healthy friendships. I’m not drunk anymore - maybe that’s why I only just started to notice.
It’s useless to post this on tumblr and I’m well aware of that. I don’t care anymore.
I don’t know what to do but I really want to leave.
Everything is breaking around me and the only thing I hold onto is a tiny human and that is fucking humiliating.
“I’m always soft for you, that’s the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from now and I would open my arms wider and say ‘come here, it’s been too long, it felt like home with you.’”
I’ve had just 2 of my friends congratulate me today.
Also there’s a slight chance that my sperm donor might be dead or something of that sort and that’s a little odd.
Ordering my new kitchen for the apartment and picking up a couple other things for the move.